Top 11 Rejected Apple 'iProducts'

iSuck -- the latest in automated infant formula feeding. Just plug into your computer and it automatically knows when to start feeding (Diaper Changing Feature Costs Extra).

iCry -- automatic tissue dispenser that shoots you a kleenix when you're listening to a sad song on your iPod.

iSleep -- iPod case that inflates into a comfy pillow

iHogz -- For the Hell's Angel in you. Motorcycle Helmet has built in slot for iPod.

iMatey -- A scurvy network scanning device that detects and removes pirated software. Arrrr!

iKu -- application that automatically generates fluffy, annoying poetry that no one really understands.

iStein -- 100% ceramic beer mug complete with USB 2.0 port. Helps determine if your frothy beverage tastes great or is less filling.

American iDol -- lets you sing karaoke while being judged by a snob, a ditz and that "Yo Dawg" guy.iRony -- new product actually forces you to have face-to-face conversations with real live people (shudder).

iLost -- Application attempts to determine just what the heck is really going on with that island anyway.

iQ -- port installed directly into your skull, alllowing you to download iTunes directly into your brain (not responsible for loss of motor functions or forgetting what a fork is)

iOpener -- for those long nights in the server room waiting for the critical restore of the CEO's son's exchange mailbox (Vice-President my %*@&*$! He can't even spell!)

Thanks to Gino Coronel, Bill McMillin, Jason Bailey, Brent Foster, Geoff Schardein, Bill Hellar, Craig Martindale, Thomas Flynn, Stan Good for all their ideas.

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