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Time for Leftovers...Top 11 leftovers

Another issue, another offering of Top 11 submissions that couldn't quite fit our Last Mile page, but were too good to pass up. This time, we asked folks for the "real reasons Larry Ellison wants PeopleSoft."

  • Because the people they're chewing up and spitting out now are just too
    hard and crunchy. -- Dalton Smith
  • I better buy them before Bill Gates gets around to it.-- Eric Keown

  • Just like Gordon Gekko, "Because I can!"-- Mark Aninao
  • Number 10 on his Top Ten List of Competitors I Want To Destroy
    (Microsoft appears nine times as #1-9)-- Mark Aninao
  • Larry Ellison doesn't really want PeopleSoft, he just doesn't want
  • PeopleSoft to be bigger than Oracle.-- Douglas Bartsch
  • If you can't beat'em, Buy'em-- Bruce Weymouth
  • To determine the exact size of a corner.-- Marc Gartenberg
  • Sponge Bob told him to "It's got People in the title!"-- Nicholas Hart
  • Really wanted JD Edwards so he can rename company to J-DOE and cut a
    record deal-- Nicholas Hart
  • Heard it could cure baldness -- Nicholas Hart
  • His pals in government say its OK -- Nicholas Hart
  • Was told they have free Viagra for all employees -- Nicholas Hart
  • Wants their Yacht -- Nicholas Hart
  • Wants to be a better not richer man -- Nicholas Hart
  • This name is actually what he thinks of his customers -- Nicholas Hart
  • Become the biggest 'ERP' -- Nicholas Hart
  • Make Bill Gates mad -- Nicholas Hart
  • I wanted to buy them before that Bill Gates did! -- David Pierson
  • Since Oracle can't beat PeopleSoft on a feature basis, they want to buy
    the best!-- Suzanne Kaneda
  • The name Oracle sounds like the company has all the answers and the
    name PeopleSoft sounds like it is easy to use.-- Jason Wankerl
  • Because Safra asked him "why are our people soft"? He heard - "buy
    peoplesoft".-- Tim Peterson
  • Because Larry is Larry.-- Victor Adamson
  • Likes the name as it implies that humans are soft. -- Chris Devine
  • Because Larry thinks he can buy goodwill. -- Victor Adamson
  • While he was water-skiing behind a blimp, a mermaid swam up next to him
    and told him that $16 a share was a fair price for PeopleSoft. -- Andy
    Nowak