Whither, Apple Mouse?

11) Kill: Smashes any bugs on your desk

10) Schtick: Accesses White House plans and transmits them directly to Jay Leno

9) Explain: Shows how having more buttons makes the Mac easier to use

8) Reprogram: Fixes users' brains so they stop using the CD drive as a cup holder

7) Pie: Turns your Mac into a late-afternoon snack6) Eject: Activates ejector seat when the boss is coming

5) Joy: Sends signals directly to the brain's pleasure center

4) Time-off: Resets vacation and personal time used to zero

3) Windows: Replaces Mac GUI with Windows disguise in Windows-only shops

2) Baby Grand: Instantly turns your Mac into a baby grand piano1) Button: Explains what all the @#%& extra buttons are for

Special thanks to Steve Bolstridge, Ken Graham, Jason Hill, Cindy Kryszak, Gregory Mamayek, Steven Matheson, David Orenstein, Ray, Steven Steinberg and Tim Wood for hitting their "Last Mile suggestions" buttons. Now it's time to click on the "Partypooper" button and get back to work.

Ever notice how the modern flip phone looks a lot like the communicators on the old Star Trek TV show? Well, Viacom--the company that owns the rights to the original series--has. At the end of this month, Viacom Consumer Products, in a partnership with Sona Mobile, will release a wireless device that looks and operates a lot like Capt. Kirk's old standby, and does some things the fictional device couldn't do.

The new "communicator phone," which is being launched in conjunction with the 40th anniversary of the TV series, will let users stream video clips, send text messages and surf the Web simultaneously, without taking a performance hit. Maybe Scotty can't beam you up, but a properly timed call could get you out of that boring staff meeting.

You've heard the phrase, "a face only a mother could love." Check out these mugs. Photographer Jim Leftwich has captured some strange and surreal "expressions" on various inanimate objects, including several computer peripherals. We were thinking of matching some of these to various Network Computing editors as a goof--but when we had trouble telling the editors from the peripherals, we decided to pass (plus, we kinda like our jobs here).

LOL

Have a IT-related Chuckle you want to share? Spotted some strange tech? Want to contribute to the latest Top 11 List? Drop on by the Last Mile Repository!