Last Mile: Gilligan's IT-land

11) A PDA containing the e-book How Things Work for the Professor

10) Online dating service for Mary Ann when her boyfriend dumps her (Episode #54)

9) Spam firewall for filtering incoming messages in bottles

8) Vendor Web sites that provide enough hot air to fill an escape balloon

7) Laptop with wireless connection to let Mr. Howell check his stock portfolio6) Server loaded with pirated apps--the RIAA would find them in a heartbeat

5) P4 chip and extra RAM to make the robot work faster (Episode #57)

4) Web cameras and motion sensors to spot those pesky headhunters

3) Automatic patch-deployment system for the S.S. Minnow

2) Online instruction manual for use of the jetpack (Episode #95)1) Gilligan doesn't need IT; Ginger already has 'it'

Special thanks to our crack survival guides--Ken Graham, Erich Huemoeller, Steven Lee, Steven A. Matheson, Bill McMillin, David Miller, Nick Nielsen, Ronald Peterson, David Rettig and Doug Whitaker--for their resourceful suggestions. And an extra special thanks to Doug Whitaker, who referenced specific episodes of the series. (Doug, get a life, dude.)

So your ship has been wrecked, and you're marooned on an uncharted desert isle. What's the one thing any self-respecting IT pro would never be without? Right! Data storage. Swissbit's SwissMemory USB Victorinox (www.swissbit-shop.com) is a conventional multipurpose pocket knife with scissors, nail file--and a memory stick that can store up to 1 GB of data. You can stow the plans for building a boar-powered generator and a coconut-driven ham radio--and you'll still have enough room for some computer games to play while you're waiting for your rescuers to arrive.

As you may recall, we ran a contest to name the ocean-going vessel that adorns the cover of this Survivor's Guide issue, and by maritime law, we are bound to reveal the winner here: Alan Cohen suggested the name "The Jolly Blogger"--a play on the name "Jolly Roger," the black flag with skull and crossbones that flew over ancient pirate ships. Although the crew of our ship seldom does any robbing or pillaging, we felt the name was yar, and it looks nice shivering on our timbers. Well done, Mr. Cohen. Have another ration of grog on us.

Last place went to the reader who suggested the name "Get Out of My Way, I'm an IT Idiot." We won't embarrass you by printing your name here, sailor, but would you really want to crew a vessel with a name like that?

LOL

Have a IT-related Chuckle you want to share? Spotted some strange tech? Want to contribute to the latest Top 11 List? Drop on by the Last Mile Repository!