Carly--You're a Star!

This edition: Top 11 working titles for a movie about ex-HP CEO Carly Fiorina; an ode to Carly; and the zany MS Knowledge Base.

March 25, 2005

4 Min Read
Network Computing logo

6) Fiorina Jones and the Boardroom of Doom

5) Desperately Not Seeking Carly

4) Close Encounters of the Carly Kind

3) Every Which Way You Can't

2) The Taming of the Shrew1) Malice in Blunderland, or Through the Looking Glass Ceiling

Special thanks to Charles Ashbacher, Darin M. Bush, Dennis Figueroa, Ken Germann, Steven Grafing, Ken Graham, David Hartmann, Gary Hoke, Ralph H. Stoos Jr., Doug Whitake, and Scott Winberg. And don't miss the expanded, two-disc collector's edition of the director's cut online for even more movie title madness!

Despite the mind-zapping indoctrination schemes documented by Douglas Coupland in Microserfs, some Microsoft employees appear to have a sense of humor--whether they know it or not. Don't believe us? We quote from Article# 147373:

"The 'Remove All' option of the Microsoft Exchange Server version 4.0 Setup program does not remove all the Microsoft Exchange files and directories. ... This is by design."For this and literally hundreds more amusing Microsoft missives, check out system analyst Jill Dybka's archive

Network Computing reader Zeke Kersey submitted the following tribute to Carly Fiorina's short but turbulent reign as Hewlett-Packard CEO. Shakespeare would have been proud.

Circuit of Life

This world of silicon and golden trace

Though often one of logic: stone and coldWhere dreams are traded: faded, lost and sold,

Is sometimes blessed with purity and grace.

Systemic elements so dull, so base,

The molecules which make up board and fleshIn clean room lab or chromosomal crèche,

So delicately merge within your face ...

Organic synergetic interface!

Each separate feature beautiful in part

More dazzling still when mixed with soul and heart.The light and warmth of suns your eyes outpace!

The power of the pasts you hold by will

Within your eyes. So elemental still ...

LOLHave a IT-related Chuckle you want to share? Spotted some strange tech? Want to contribute to the latest Top 11 List? Drop on by the Last Mile Repository!

Ken Germann
• How about either "Close Enounters of the Carly Kind", or "Close Enounters of the Compaq Kind"?

Ken Graham
• Itannic - I'm Queen of the Unemployed...
• Malice in Blunderland, or Through the Looking Glass Ceiling
• The Princess Diaries - After the Fall

Steven Grafing
• "The B*tch's Billions"

• Canned Heat III
• "Go Ahead and Fire Me - You Can't Have Your Balls Back"
• Emasculator II - Carly's Revenge

• The Taming of the Shrew

• "Iron Maiden's Black Sabbath - The Carly Fiorina Story"

James Kennedy
• The HP Chainsaw Massacre

Eduardo Salas
• CEO-CEO-7: The Board that kick my butt

Danny Miskov
• The TerminatedGary Hoke
• Carly and Present Danger

• Carly's Angels

• Look Who's Walking

• As Bad As It Gets
• There's Something About Carly
• Mrs. Doubtfired
• Casted Away

• Carly Gump..."I was runnin'"
• Titanic II
• Fast Times at Hewlett Packard
• Fire Me If You Can
• Austin Powers: The Spy Who Fired Me
• My Big Fat Severance Package

• The Fiorina Supremacy
• The Girl No Longer Next Door
• Fiorina 9/11
• Carly Dynamite
• Compaq to the Future
• The Matrix Unloaded

• Coach Carly
• Harry Potter and the Firing of Fiorina
• Terminator 4: Fall of the Fiorina
• Meet the Fiorinas
• Unhitch
• Desperately Not Seeking Carly

• Sleepless in Palo Alto
• iFired
• Leader of the Packing
• National Lampoon's Carly's Vacation
• Carly on a Hot Tin Roof
• Office Sparce

• Carly vs. Godzilla
• Flop Gun
• Office Space II
• Silence of the Carly

Dennis Figueroa
• Don't tell Mom the CEO is dead

michael barry

• Fired fast and furious.Doug Whitaker
• Carly Fiorina's A Series of Unfortunate Events

• (B)Hitch

• Finding Neverland: The HP and Compaq Merger

• Twenty-One Million Dollar Baby

• Laughing to the Bank: The Carly Severance PackageJose Rodriguez
• Silence of the Clowns
• Illegally Blonde
• Tax Me If You Can
• Board to Perdition

Charles Ashbacher

• Combining the titles of two Clint Eastwood movies where he starred with an orangutan, _Every Which Way But Loose_ and _Any Which Way You Can_ I think a movie about Carly Fiorina would be "Every Which Way You Can't"

Steven A. Matheson
• The Rat comPaq
• Crouching Carly, Hidden Agenda
• Ditch

David Hartmann
• A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Board Meeting

Ralph H. Stoos Jr.

• The Treasure of Carly Fiorina
• The Magnificent Severance
• The Good, The Bad, and the Wealthy
• Carly, the Great Egression
• For Your Banks Only
• Unforgiven, but well compensated

• Here's your hat, what's your hurry?
• Fiorina Royale
• The Great Escape
• Which way to the Bank?
• The Non-Producers
• Shame

• Guess Who's Paying for Dinner?
• Miracle on Hanover Street
• The Gold Rush of 2005Nick Nielsen
• Packards at the Gates

• The Com Packard

• Fiorina is Coming

Ken Aldridge
• Lost in Transition

Scott Winberg
• Big Trouble in Little Compaq
• who framed Carly Fiorina?
• The Good, the Bad, and The Gone.0

Stay informed! Sign up to get expert advice and insight delivered direct to your inbox

You May Also Like

More Insights