Bill's Hot Topic

5)We have top men working on that problem.... Top ... men

4)As poor little Microsoft looks on, Bill approaches, breathing heavily: "Microsoft, I am your father"

3)Terabytes: storing the next Windows OS

2)Total cost of ownership, or how much it costs Microsoft to own you1)Windows security: the light at the end of the tunnel

Special thanks to Charles Ashbacher, Steven Barger, Simon Galton, Graham, John Hoffman, Rich Lawson, Gregory Mamayek, Wayne Maurer, Keith Moore, Erik de Ruijter and Doug Whitaker for their submissions. And Bill, we're mostly sorry.

In the 1970s, Ford Motor Co. made a car called the Pinto, which had a nasty habit of exploding when it was rear-ended. Well, everything else is retro '70s, so why not technology? Microsoft last month was forced to recall the power cords on 14.1 million Xbox consoles made before 2003, citing that they occasionally catch fire and burn the user. So far, 30 users have reported Xbox fires, seven of which have resulted in burns to the user's hands. We've heard of frying the controls, but this is ridiculous.

We thought of so many headlines for this item that our brains nearly Xboxed on us. So we decided to do the responsible thing--pass the buck! Write us a headline for our exploding Xbox item. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Microsoft Flames Users (Really)XBox Users Find a New Way To Get the Hot Hand

That's One Hot Box!

XBox: A Blistering Success

XBox Sets Market on Fire--and Users' Houses, Too!

Ever take a personality test? Labels like "provider," "artisan" and "idealist" sound good, but what do they really mean?Nothing. You won't truly understand your inner self until you take our Vendor-Aligned Personality Inference Diagnostic test, or VAPID for short. Let your inner D-Link, Unisys or Lucent Technologies come out to play!

LOL

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