Faith and Begorah!

Top 11 Worst Ways To Celebrate St. Patrick's Day In The Data Center

11) Replace coffee with Irish Coffee

10) Cover up any LEDs that aren't green

9) Change the blue screen of death to the green screen of death

8) Refer to clients as "the Wee Folk"7) Put an O' in front of all user names in the directory

6) Replace all the toner cartridges with green ink

5) Play drinking games like "Whenever I get an e-mail, chug a beer" and "Whenever I don't get an e-mail, chug a beer."

4) Give the dateless data center staff "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" buttons

3) Replace cardkey scanners with breathalyzers and lock out anyone with a blood alcohol level of less than 0.12) Cook corned beef and cabbage on the new blade servers

1) Swap the water coolers with Guinness kegs

Special thanks to our data center leprechauns--Robert Trimarco, Erich Huemoeller, Wayne Maurer, Henry Rohlfs, Jim Ball, Dominic Vadakkan, and Tim Jackson--for their ever-green suggestions. Truly you've got the gift of the blarney, and may the luck o' the Irish be with you!

No Sweat

Do you get sweaty palms at those critical moments in life: job interviews, marriage proposals, gaining the next level in "Fight Night Round 3?" Well, we can't help you with the first two, but Jared Bouck and Dan Williams may have developed a solution for sweaty-palmed computer gamers: an air-cooled mouse pad. The pad contains a blower that sucks air and moisture away from the user's hand, protecting against hydroplaning during those long sessions of Gran Turismo. Nice work, guys-we'd shake your hands, but we're all sweaty.MP3s for disaster recovery

Does your data center reside in a flood plain? Does the roof leak? Then be sure to check out the Finis SwiMP3, a waterproof MP3 player. Effective to a depth of 10 feet, the SwiMP3 boasts a capacity of 128 MB (about 30 songs) and a four-hour battery life. You'll feel the music in your bones--literally. Rather than standard headphones, the player uses bone conduction to transmit sound directly to the inner ear. It's guaranteed to get you whistling while you salvage a submerged rack of servers.