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Resolved: A Slimmer EMC

2:00 PM -- The holidays behind us, its clear that the corporate spinners are back at work.

Take today’s press release from EMC, claiming that EMC’s fourth-quarter revenue was above expectations and its 2005 revenue will likely rise by 17 percent. (See EMC Brags on Revs, Plans Cuts.) “A great finish to a tremendous year,” CEO Joe Tucci said in the release.

But down in the sixth paragraph, EMC slips in the “Oh, by the way” news that it will cut 1,000 jobs as part of a “workforce rebalance.” EMC makes this sound like such a great thing that it’s a wonder it didn’t lead the release. Amazingly, the 5 percent reduction of its workforce comes as EMC “expands its sales coverage around the world and grows its product development team.”

That suggests EMC will cut in other areas -- probably employees that came from some of its acquisitons -- and eventually hire people back in sales and R&D. While I sympathize with those who lose their jobs, I understand the strategy. I’m among the many who vow this time of year to make myself leaner, yet somehow always end up heavier by the end of the year. Now I have a new name for this. I call it the “Hopkinton Rebalancing Diet.”

— Dave Raffo, Senior Editor, Byte and Switch

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