Dark Lord of the sITh?

Top 11 Reasons Darth Vader Would Make A Bad It Manager

11) The second Tuesday of every months would be "Patch Darth" day

10) He'd insist all networking problems are caused by a disturbance in the Force

9) His heavy breathing would result in a rash of sexual harassment suits

8) His top IT priority for the year would be to rule the galaxy7) Users would have to beat him in a lightsaber duel to get their PCs fixed

6) He'd refuse to stop referring to company headquarters as the Death Star

5) He'd keep telling staff members, "I am your father"

4) His Super Star Destroyer would take up all the good parking spaces

3) In response to a server crash he'd say, "I find your lack of files disturbing"2) His big projects have a history of exploding

1) He'd use the Force to turn employees into mindless drones

Special thanks to all our Jedi Knights--Peggy Garberick, John Grimm, Gary Dale Hoke, Joseph Meyers, Jerry Murray, Dana Simonson and Rob Trimarco--who succumbed to the Dark Side long enough to make these submissions. May the Force be with you--always.

These Boots Were Made for Typing

»The wacky world of IT fashion gets kicked up a notch with these shoes made from computer keyboards. We're 99 percent sure they don't actually work--but wouldn't it be great if they did? What a way to boost staff productivity. Coffee break? Lunch time? Running out to an appointment? No problem. They can just keep punching away at that project while on the go. Let's just hope it's not possible for them to step on the Ctrl+Alt+Delete keys at the same time.Mafia Boss Learns Tough Crypto Lesson

»Security architects and IT managers know that encryption keys are like socks and underwear--you have to change them frequently. But apparently no one told Bernardo Provenzano, the reputed kingpin of the Sicilian Mafia. Provenzano used the same simple substitution cipher every time he typed up paper notes to be delivered to lieutenants and family members, so investigators only had to crack the code once to decipher every note. Police used the notes to track Provenzano's activities and identify other gang members. The mob boss was arrested in April after 40 years in hiding. Ciao, Bernardo!

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