Wonky Windows Names
In this edition we chuckle at the Top 11 worst codenames for the next version of Microsoft Windows, virtual Net disasters and a scrolling marquee belt buckle.
May 6, 2005
5) Crapshoot
4) LongHernia
3) Los Alamos (where bombs are made and security is dubious)
2) Windows NotAgain
1) Windows "It's From Microsoft, So Just Buy It and Don't Ask Questions" 1.0Special thanks to Karla Davis, Jose Hernandez, Chris Hulaj, Gregory Mamayek, Steven Matheson, Wayne Maurer, Jeff Murdoch, Douglas Rockney and Ralph Stoos Jr. for their prophetic submissions. See the full list of readers' zany and depraved code-name suggestions.
Ticked off at a Web page that doesn't load properly or promotes a competitor's product? Don't get mad--get even! At www.netdisaster.com, you can simulate the destruction of your most despised Web page using a choice of animated obliteration methods, including nuclear attack, worms, dinosaurs, meteors, even spilled coffee. So next time a Web page just kills you, kill it back. (Editor's note: Thanks to our parent company's "malicious Web site filter," we had to sneak out of the office to verify this item on another network.)
Looking for a piece of clothing that has your name written all over it? Here's an item that can say "You" and still leave room for 253 more characters. The new scrolling belt buckle from Iced Out (www.icedoutgear.com) can store up to six customized, rotating messages so you can promote yourself, your Web site or the latest news from CNN. Make the text scroll left to right or top to bottom--or, if you really want to go all out, make it blink on and off. Oh, and this baby offers an added benefit: It helps keep your pants up.
Douglas Rockney
• Windows insert_current_year_plus_one()Dennis Burdick
• LongBoot
Joe Bars
• Ho-broken
Estevan Roman
• "The Windows Reloaded"
Matthew Cain
• OpenSore
Tom Avern
• WinD'ohs GTFreddie H. Sebren
• "Nightmare By Gates"
Arnold Aravena
a• Tired Windows; Silver Goose; Long Hand; Short Windows; Easy Can't Do (ECD); New Troubles '96 (NT'96); Good Luck Network (GLN)
Steve Harvey
1. Microsoft Moose2. Bob II
3. Clear Window Pain
4. WatchLinuxBleed
5. Bill's Great Adventure
6. SCO_Unix`ed_Linux
Gaspar Botsinkay
• III Gate
Jeffrey Goble