What Honest Abe (And Other Presidents) Would Have Said On Facebook

Barack Obama is arguably the first president of the modern networking social age. To date, he has has made use of Twitter, Facebook and other social networks and social networking tools -- most recently, Instagram. There likely won’t be a president to come who won’t leverage social networking in some way, shape or form, and--as we’ve seen in the last year or so leading up to the 2012 Presidential election--social media has a very big role in shaping people’s views and candidates’ fates. But what if Facebook, Twitter, Google+, YouTube et. al had been around when our presidents of old (and not so old) were around? We imagined what the updates to some of our presidents’ social media profiles might be like. Some “updates” are imagined. Some are real. Actual quotes are noted.

George Washington: Two terms is one too many. (Washington reluctantly served two terms but refused to serve a third.)

James Madison: “Every word decides a question between power and liberty.” (Madison was known as the father of the Constitution.)

John Quincy Adams: So proud that both my father and I have been president. It’s not like that will ever happen again! (It would happen again.)

William Henry Harrison: I don’t want to jinx myself, but I see a long stint in office. (Harrison was the first president to die in office, just one month into his term.)

Abraham Lincoln: Here’s hoping my presidency is uneventful. (Of course, it was anything but.)

Ulysses S. Grant: Sweet surrender! (Grant was commander of the United States Army during the Civil War. Gen. Robert E. Lee surrendered on April 9, 1865, at Appomattox Court House.)

Rutherford B. Hayes: There’s got to be a better way to run an election. (Hayes was declared the winner in the presidential race only three days before the inauguration and after months of heated battles. Congress established an Electoral Commission to settle the dispute.)

James Garfield: Lefties rule! (Garfield was the first left-handed president.)

Grover Cleveland: Grover changed his relationship status to Married. (Cleveland was the first president to wed in the White House.)

Theodore Roosevelt: “I feel fit as a bull moose.” (You can’t make this stuff up.)

William H. Taft: Play ball! (In 1910, Taft began the tradition of the presidential first pitch on opening day. He also may or may not have started the tradition of the seventh inning stretch.)

Woodrow Wilson: Go ahead, ask me anything. (Wilson held the first of what would become the presidential press conference, in 1915.)

Warren G. Harding: "Less government in business and more business in government." (Sound familiar?)

Franklin D. Roosevelt: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. (From Roosevelt’s first inaugural address.)

Harry S. Truman: “The buck stops here.” (Sign on Truman’s desk.)

Dwight D. Eisenhower: This TV thing seems interesting.” (Eisenhower was the first president to campaign on television.)

John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country." (From Kennedy’s inaugural address.)

Richard M. Nixon: It will be great to be remembered as the man who was president at the time of the first man landing on the moon. (He wouldn’t be.)

Ronald Reagan: “Tear down that wall!” (Especially with social media spurring and fueling so many populist movements, you can imagine this phrase--a challenge in reference to the Berlin Wall--trending were it uttered today.)

George H.W. Bush: “We will get this recession behind us.” (From his inaugural address. More and worse were yet to come.)

Bill Clinton: I love good sax. (Clinton played saxophone and considered a career in music.)

George W. Bush: It was close, but I won! (Bush won the 2000 presidential race with the closest results in history.)

Barack Obama: “Being a father is sometimes my hardest but always my most rewarding job. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there.-BO” (@barackobama’s first signed tweek, posted on June 19, 2011.)

Note: The author means no disrespect to the office of the president nor to any of the men who have served as president. Comment below if you would like to add your own imaginings of presidential updates.