The Zen of Password Management

Stage 1: Denial They don't really mean that I have to change my password. It's just a suggestion, really, more of a guideline than a hard and fast rule. Really, that warning will go away if I ignore it. Stage...

September 28, 2005

2 Min Read
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Stage 1: DenialThey don't really mean that I have to change my password. It's just a suggestion, really, more of a guideline than a hard and fast rule. Really, that warning will go away if I ignore it. Stage 2: AngerI will NOT change my password. I can't believe that the security of the entire company depends on me changing my password at this time. It's just a silly policy that IT uses to exercise digital control over the rest of the world.

Stage 3: FearBut if I change my password I might forget it! I like my password the way it is - right now. I probably won't be able to remember what I changed it to and then I'll have to ::shudder:: call the help desk. Oh god, why is this happening to me?

Stage 4: Acceptance Okay, I'll change my password but I won't like it. I guess maybe it really is important. After all, someone used Mary's password to hack into the corporate database yesterday and now we're under investigation by like every agency with a three letter acronym. I'll do it, but I hope they don't think I'm happy about it.

Stage 5: WonderHey, that wasn't so bad. I remembered what my password is and when I told Bob and Jim and the counter guy at Starback's about the phrase technique I use to remember it they thought I was pretty cool. I'm sure the guy at Starbuck's was writing down my method so he could use it himself.

Stage 6: JoyWow, this new password is great! I wish I'd thought of it before. In fact, I've changed all my passwords to match the one I use at work! Gmail, Hotmail, PayPal, eBay... everything! It's such a great password! I love it! Maybe I'll name my first born after it!

Two weeks later ...

Stage 1: DenialI can't believe I changed my password and told the counter guy at Starbuck's about it. I can't believe he used it to buy a giant cheetoh on eBay with my PayPal account and spammed everyone at corporate HQ from my Hotmail accout. At least he didn't...oh my, why are those men in suits with dark glasses coming my way? They aren't, they're just ... out for a stroll. I'm sure of it. Turn around and face the screen and whistle, they'll just pass me by, I just know it!...

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