Haiku Technical Support Competition

The rest of our favorites, not in any particular order, follow below. Some have commentary from the peanut gallery. That's us.

And because of the overwhelming response and high-brow entries we received, we're pleased to announce a monthly IT Haiku contest. Send us your poetic masterpieces, and we'll pick and promote the best of the best during the first week of each month so long as we receive your excellent submissions.

Close your eyes and breatheDrop one finger to keyboard"any" key is foundby Steve Kleine--------------------------------------
Beautiful PrinterNeeds to be on and readyIn order to Print
by Greg Klinger
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Screen flickersSystem shutdown imminentThe lunchroom beckons softlyby James Dewey
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My reach astounds me.I'll reboot the Internetso you can go surf
by Gary Rimar
--------------------------------------your mind is very weak there was no reason to askuse google you dunce
by Thomas Packer
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Password is no good.You cannot check your email.Idiot with caps-lock on
by Benjamin Vogel--------------------------------------
Windows ExplorerIs not Internet ExplorerDo you know the difference?thought not
by Steve Marty
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Email enters strangeCan Outlook decode the SPAM?A cold day in hellby Scott Conant
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a window appearsstrong waves of panic assaultwhere is the Any Key
by Steve Clark
--------------------------------------Darkness within screenElectricity in wiresPower button off
by Alvaro Hoyos
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Silent scream of painSpyware lurksI sense a ghost
by Chase Wells--------------------------------------
You erased your file?I could bring it back from tapeBut it serves you right
by Hugh Dunne
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[What's a ribald?]friend senthumourous message most ribaldcast into oblivion
by Paul Rebmann
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A BSoD?ROFLMAO!UR SOL!
by Steven Barger--------------------------------------
New support ticketFor user's error by codeReads "I.D-10-T"
by Steven Barger
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WiFi is not IInternet is too complexI miss my SysOpby Jim Fitzgerald
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why must you ask me?the answer lies within youpeace comes with reboot
by Andrew Kahl
--------------------------------------Thousand line program,you are just one line away.NT must reboot.
Program refusesto compile: cc not found.Seek the right PATH, child.
Hope I win this one,so my geek life has meaning.I find PERL in C.
by Seshadri Veeraraghavan
--------------------------------------Unknown is the wayLogical thought it defies;To stop first click start
Posed is a questionOr instruction it could be;Please press any key
As screen turns to blueThe penguine does not falter;Look outside windows
by Cris Oltremari
--------------------------------------Help me O Help Desk!I confess: keyboard died fromcoffee with sugar
by Ron White
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[and it rhymes!]
CPU faster, fasterMemory not so. SoftwareBloated, still run slowby Anon
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Access is denied Can I open this web pageApparently Not
by Stephen Nelson
--------------------------------------Not a word from youYou may listen but not speakMailbox size warning
by Greg Hopp
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The configuration may not changeYou have no authorityThe machine alone decides
by Dennis Bergstrom--------------------------------------
Spyware darkens lifeMust click "Yes" to view this sitePlease do not click yes
by Menotti Minutillo
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Passwords snowing deepEars; empty space forgottenReset lumbers onby Ralph Taylor
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Gentle whining heardSoft at first, quickly gets loud,when you learn the truth.
I stifle a laugh,as you tell me you failed, the any key test.
by Charles Ashbacher--------------------------------------
Abandon all hopeError message meaninglessUnknown cause, OK?
by Jack Wisener
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Apply critical updatesDatabase engine wont restartI curse you microsoftby Tom Anderson
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Lights flashing loudlyPrinter eats the pure paperRain falls on my day
by Richard L Meyer
--------------------------------------DVD Disc deadIs DVD drive installedNo, do I need one?
by Mike Wright
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[best use of the phrase, "Evanescent memory";btw, this is in 575!]
Work of hours gone(Evanescent memory);Toggle power switch.by Robert M. Horton, PhD
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Find harmony inthe cerulean calm ofthe blue screen of death
by Jeffrey B. Holton
--------------------------------------We have some patchesbut NOSMOKE.EXEmust come from within
by Jeffrey B. Holton
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Good fortune smiling; Computer upgrade is yours,but are you worthy?
Move all project files(and other important things)to My Documents.Organize your filesin subdirectories bythe project number.
Other files may be kept in subfolders underMy Documents, please.
If you pass this test,the Computer Frie willtransfer your folders
to your new hard drive.Keep project files organizedas such from now on.
by Randal Fernandez
This was a memo to users getting upgraded to a new computer.(my original work)--------------------------------------
Happy Tech SupportAnother Clueless UserJob Security
by Tim Gesner
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Technical safeguardsand implementation specsKeep bobs bobbling[We're not sure what this meansbut we like it]
Don't share, wear, post-itHear password guidance! Hello?Buddha's laughter chimes
by margaret baldinger
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As the seasons changeSo too must I updateAnti-virus toolby Simon Galton
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Email quotas noLatest greatest tech toys yesYou're the CIO
by Doug Whitaker
--------------------------------------Yes this is your faultThe Internet is brokenWhy Kournikova?
by Chris Stoneff
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Streaming music stopsShopping sites cannot be reachedWebsense on the job
by Doug Whitaker--------------------------------------
Blue Screen of Death ...Such vibrant color ...Reboot.
by Gregory Mamayek
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Reboot System PleaseThen Uninstalland Install Againand Repeat.by M Aho
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[best manual paraphrase]
When laptop travelsShould your e-mail fail to sendChange outbound server
(A Haiku request...)Haikus are great funBut in western traditionLets make limericks nextby Steven A. Matheson
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Cannot find my file.Type Format c continue.Your PC is fixed.
by Doug Finner

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