Greetings, Mr. Anderson

We asked you faithful NWC readers to give us your "Top 11" signs your co-worker thinks he's Neo. Faster than jacking into the Matrix, you responded. As usual, we couldn't fit all the responses in our August 7th issue's Top...

August 1, 2003

3 Min Read
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We asked you faithful NWC readers to give us your "Top 11" signs your co-worker thinks he's Neo. Faster than jacking into the Matrix, you responded. As usual, we couldn't fit all the responses in our August 7th issue's Top 11, but we still had to share them.

Some movie trivia, by the way -- Agent Smith aka actor Hugo Weaving can be seen this December reprising his role as Elrond in "LOTR: Return of the King." And if you want to see him in a completely different (but hysterical) light, check out "The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert."

  • He eats only the Red M&Ms -- Greg Martin

  • Signs his name in streaming binary -- Dale Childers

  • Practices Kung Fu moves while in the bathroom stall -- Joseph Nieves

  • Always asking that someone throw something at him so he can dodge it -- Eloi Mallet

  • Reclined in his office chair, with a SCSI cable duct-taped to the back of his head -- Darin Lory

  • Submits 'discuss how deep the rabbit hole goes' as topic for all meeting agendas -- Peter Scott

  • Quietly stretches out hand before saying, "no," to anyone -- Jeffrey Bianchine

  • Says "That's an old neural data port. It's not a hicky -- Henry Rohlfs

  • Keeps trying to plug a cat 5 cable into the back of his head -- Andre Kruger

  • He adds a cookie recipie to the "Oracle" database and insists that you'll feel "just fine" by the time you finish eating them. -- Dave Newman

  • Tries to move in "bullit time" through the server room -- Carol Hammond

  • Seeks out your Oracle server to tell him if he is "the one". -- Kate Allen

  • Desperately searches for the EMP button whenever IT director approaches his cubicle -- David Whittaker

  • Keeps staring at the "Xmatrix" screensaver looking for the woman in the red dress -- David G. Miller

  • Can read PDF file print codes -- Jim FritzHuspen

  • Mysteriously disappears every time a phone rings...leaving you to handle all the user support. -- Ryan Bruins

  • Transformed the server room into a cave like dwelling -- Jeremy Barker

  • Suggests using an electromagnetic pulse to deal with a virus infection -- Patrick Kingsley

  • When dealing with troublesome users and management, can be heard mumbling, "Why, oh, why didn't I take the BLUE pill?" -- Patrick Kingsley

  • He keeps saying he knows kung-fu, but a third grader could beat him up -- Steve Long

  • Sets up a "test" server, that only test the xmatrix screensaver -- Drew Decker

  • Refers to the network as the 'Zion Mainframe' -- Tony Tiongson

  • Spends all day searching for a wall-hack while contemplating if life is represents in polygonal or rasterized phong shading. -- Matthew Aleksander

  • Refers to the system administrator as Agent Smith -- John Scott

  • Sets all of the routers Banner message of the day to "The Matrix has you..." -- Ryan Moore

  • Asks to trade in his fancy VOIP phone for a rotary dial unit -- Jim Cobb

  • Still wearing the the t-shirt from the 2000 BrainShare conference that says "I took the red pill" -- Ted A Richart

  • Says he types so fast because his neuro-kinetics are way above normal -- Leon Zandvliet

  • Tries to program code in hexadecimal using a green font on a black screen -- Jonathan Larocque

  • Always tries to bend everybody's spoon in his coffee breaks -- Jonathan Larocque

  • Refers to our Project Manager as "the Operator" -- Clifford Osburn

  • Uses Google to search for Morpheus. -- Cliff Osburn

  • Hasn't been into work since stating he was going to spend the weekend developing a new technique for down-range, mid-flight ballistic analysis -- Daniel E. Stafne

  • Pulls up floor tiles in the data center, muttering "Follow the white rabbit". -- Scott McKenzie

  • Manages to implement an anti-spam solution and applies it to hotmail. To your surprise, spamming is forever stopped. -- Brice McLoad

  • Recommends that casual Friday become trench coat Friday -- Mark Gringle

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