Cutting IT Spending

This edition: the Top 11 creative ways to cut IT spending, seven words programmers can't type and a useless gadget exchange.

August 13, 2004

3 Min Read
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Top 11Special thanks to Dave Baldwin, Erik Dauplaise, Ray Gauthier, Steven Grafing, Richard T. (Rick) McCormack, Jeff Meadows, John Patrick, Mark Payton, Ron Weskett and Jason Williams for their submissions. Because of cost-cutting measures, our usual feast of additional submissions has been shortened to a 1x1-pixel gif file.When the developers at Mosaic Communications set out to create Mozilla, their lawyers requested that they clean the source code--literally. Developers were asked to remove "any text containing vulgar or offensive words or expressions." Jamie Zawinski did just that--but, like any good programmer, he documented his work, preserving for your viewing pleasure the complete list of revolting source-code comments that never made it into Mozilla. Here are our favorites*:

Seven Words You Can't Type While Programming

/* This sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks. */

# define rename hpux_sucks_wet_ farts_from_dead_pigeons

/* Lord Whorfin says: send me a click, dammit! */

/* stderr hackery - Why Unix Sucks, reason number 32767See the complete listing online:

*Warning: excessive use of bad, bad words

Seven Words You Can't Type While ProgrammingYou love your old Apple Newton, Palm Pilot or Nintendo NES, but seriously, will you ever use it again? Don't let that useless device sit idle in your desk drawer--swap it for someone else's useless device through our new Computing Gadget Exchange. Here's how it works:Send us a photograph of you holding your must-go gadget and we'll post it. If you see a gadget on our site you want to trade for, we'll help you make the connection.

Your Name

Your Email

Useless Gadget Name

URL for a snapshot of your item. (if you don't have an image online, just email it to us along with your name.)

How long have you had this useless bit of technology?

Which equally useless gadget would you like to trade for?

Not sure you want a has-been gizmo? Follow a day in the life of Brad and his Newton as they illustrate the blissful utility of useless devices.This little green Newton 120 has been a part of my life for nearly 10 years now. And sure, it can't recognize my handwriting, but it strives to remain useful on a day-to-day basis. Here's how the little fella looks to keep himself busy. -- Brad Shimmin

08:20am: How else can you keep track of important meds while in the bath? The reflective surface also comes in handy.

08:45am: Who says electronics and high-amplitude microwaves don't mix? The Newton tries to race the microwave's self timer.

09:00am: Going to work. All you need is a 20x40 canvas rolling suitcase, and you and your Newton are on your way.

11:20am: Those little rubber feet and just the right amount of heft make the Newton a gravity-defying book end.

04:22pm: I find a downtrodden Newton contemplating an early retirement. Thankfully opposable thumbs were not a option with the 120.

06:44pm: The Newton fits perfectly in the lower plate rack, almost as if by magic.

08:29pm: Ah, a little late reading, my page held firmly in place by the 120.

11:45pm: All good days must come to an end. The Newton lays down for some well-deserved sleep. Good night Newt.

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