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Top Network Admin Excuse of All Time

No one knows the trouble you've seen, especially frustrated users and corporate-bigwigs, who have no tolerance for the downtime that inevitably comes for all who brave the world of the Wide Web. It's time to take back control with this foolproof letter of apology.

Dear Corporate Users,
We have a down internet connection. It's because someone deleted the internet when they dragged the little blue 'e' to the recycle bin. We are working with our internet service provider to restore the whole world wide web from tape backup. The problem is that the offsite storage for the WWW tape backup, is on another planet and with NASA grounded we have to use one of those Russian space flights to get the tapes. So it's a little slower than a regular restore.

When the network returns to normal, send the following follow-up.

Okay folks, it would appear that the Soyuz capsule was able to retrieve the tapes and restore the WWW. Thank you Russians! Three cheers for those guys!