More Gore!

Earlier this week, we posted the latest edition of "Last Mile," which
included the Top 11 Reasons Al Gore joined the board of Apple Computer. As we promised, here are the other entries that didn't make
the final cut, but were too good not to share.

One thing though -- who the heck is this Chad guy? Wasn't he in "Charlie's Angels" or something?

• Now the kids will know how to spell Potatoe -- Gary Susott
• "Clearly he identifies with second-place." -- Harry Flynn
• Upgrade Apple's image with a 'Wild and Crazy Guy' -- James D. Avery
• Apple does not export to Chad. -- Mark Jass
• Tipper wanted to get him out of the house -- Beth McHenry
• No chads to worry about -- Alex Schrimsher
• Now we we'll know who really invented the Macintosh -- Kamal Mehta
• Apple COMPUTER? Dang! I thought this was a mass-transit outfit
  somewhere close to Hillary. -- Cliff Smithson
• Jobs lost the coin toss -- Greg Bromwell
• He has a great idea for a computer, an all-in-one model w/monitor in a
  bunch of crazy colors -- Bob Keys
• He is used to working for a better firm while still losing out in the
  end. -- Benjamin Eades
• Apples are found in the environment, right?! -- Gail Neuman
• They never had any Granny-Smith ones at the White House when he was
  there. -- Mark E. Moseley
• Competition is tough at that level and he felt safe spelling Apple.
  -- Richard Kovach
• Five words: Jobs lost the coin toss! -- Greg Bromwell
• Hopes to use Apple technology to make sure the correct voters are all
  properly registerd to vote in upcoming "re-elect Gore Lieberman in
  2004" campaign, and solve the dangling chad problem. -- Herb Hamilton
• Apples, chads --- they both hang don't they? -- Chuck Simonds
• Oh gee; potatoe pohtahtoh who knew but me this was the highway of the
  future....I just guessed because a techie colledge friend said soo...
  i'm famoause for something....[bad, illiterate spelling on purpose] -- Benjamin Kausch
• If I invented the internet, I better learn something about
  comuters...(Al Gore statement) -- Ernest LeDoux
• Obviously, he saw the need to lessen the tension the country is under
  with the wars the Republicans are starting so he's going where he's
  needed most: creating the wonderous Apple on a stick (an amusing
  reality no one can dispute); which should enhance their sales
  tremendously; especially with his technological vision and prowess he
  so clearly demonstrated with his single handed creation of the Internet.
  He's the future, he's the past, he's one futuristic, Imperial Spock
  beard wearing, bad ass! (Leonard Nimoy never looked so Presidential)
  Once you go Gore, you'll be left only wanting more! Apple/Gore, the
  other white meat! -- John Castelein
• He wants to help the way the industry currently harvests 'hanging
  chads'. -- Fred Ensminger