As promised, we've "swept up" all the entries from this issue's last mile that just couldn't fit on the back page.

Top 11 signs your server room needs a spring cleaning.

• The latest copy of Win 3.11 is on a cd marked "Server Update Kit" -- Steve Lempke
• Your HR department requires that you carry your avalanche locator beacon anytime you are near ?the mountain? of paperwork on your desk. -- John Tibor
• The US Army wants to use your patch panel as a pinup for effective wire barrier construction. -- John Tibor
• OSHA requires that you comply with all the safety standards for an Archaeological Dig before you start your cleanup. -- John Tibor
• Your dust bunnies have grown into dust buffalo and they look like they might stampede at any moment. -- John Tibor
• Your boss makes you carry a gps, cell phone and flare gun into the room so the search party can locate you sooner. -- John Tibor
• You strongly consider using a snow blower to make entry, because shoveling your way in will take too long. -- John Tibor
• You failed Grace Hopper's last inspection. -- Dan Kwitchen
• Orkin cancelled your pest control policy. -- Dan Kwitchen
• It's been a month since the decon tablets were all eaten behind the servers yet no mice have been found. -- Armando
• documents pertaining to OS/2 -- Peter L McCauley
• there are corpses that you don't recognize -- Peter L McCauley
• Miss January 1995 still on wall -- Peter L McCauley
• 386 sx server still running,I think -- Peter L McCauley
• 4 cases of Jazz tapes -- Peter L McCauley
• coax cables littering floor -- Peter L McCauley
• picture of Bill holding his first billion -- Peter L McCauley
• new dos 3 diskette package still wrapped -- Peter L McCauley
• I did not know it was a server room, I thought it was the closet to store dust in. -- RoseAnn Sibilio
• The mold on the leftover pizza from the last upgrade is the same colour as the servers you upgraded. -- Tom Obright
• The smell from whatever got dropped down the floor grid has finally gone away -- Tom Obright
• The duct tape is no longer sticking -- Tom Obright
• Staff from other departments have put curtains on the server room window... from the outside. -- Tom Obright
• All those boxes labelled IBM PC AT -- Tom Obright
• Everyone compliments you on your suspended floor system, but you didn't install one. -- Tom Obright
• That tech you sent in there two days ago? He hasn't been seen since, although somebody did find one of his shoes under a rack -- Duke Walls
• You are having a rewiring party and you have come across some 300 baud modems - and they are still hooked up and in use. -- Fred Ensminger
• One of your servers which has been running for three years just crashed but no one can find it. -- Charles Pagelsen
• You need a satellite photo to find your way out of this maze! Let me out, plea........ thud. -- Adi Cernea
• Someone's unclaimed leftovers have evolved to the point where they've discovered fire. -- Cindy Byers
• The servers sent me an e-mail and said not to pay the ransom, they already escaped...to the hallway! -- Steve Harvey
• The top item on my to-do list is to find my other to-do lists. -- Frederick Lee
• The server's beards reach the floor. -- Eric Allen
• The servers are demanding their pensions. -- Eric Allen
• The network wiring is all dust bunny grey instead of blue. -- Eric Allen
• When the A/C comes on there's a dust bunny blizzard. -- Eric Allen
• There are still shrinkwraped copies of Windows for Workgroups Skip Barry
• You notice that those flowers came FROM the server, and not a secret admirer from cubicle 32B. -- Marvin Duran
• You put and ad in the paper for server admin that reads: "CSI experience a must-have." -- Marvin Duran
• A sign on the racks reads: "WMD inside" instead of the usual "Intel inside". -- Marvin Duran
• "Clean the server room? Yes, Sir! As soon as I remember where it is." -- Marvin Duran
• Oh, I thought that was a storage room. -- Trent A. Bontly
• Your Windows has streaks and splotches. -- Mark Jass
• The donut and bagel wrappers are swirling around behind the server exhausts like those fall leaves you didn't rake. -- Mark Jass
• Dead mice are found in the tangles of patch cables. -- James Smallwood
• Your server with the JavaBeans source has sprouted. -- Mark Jass
• Someone plugged the lights on the company christmas tree in to your router. -- Robert W. Foster
• When working with Stratus one of our customers was debating whether they should move their existing Stratus systems or buy new ones. Stratus system are fully fault tolerant mainframe style systems and are depended on to keep the most critical environments online. So while looking at one of the systems the customer pulled a CPU board for inspection, and everything looked fine. However, when he pushed the board back in the system abruptly crashed. It was determined that a dust bunny had fallen in between the board socket contacts and shorted out the system?.they decided to buy all new gear?.as we called it, ?the million dollar dust bunny?. At the new data center you could eat off the floor ?lesson learned! -- John Morelock
• The switch rack looks like a spaghetti bomb went off all over it with multi grain colored strands! Ain't it pretty! -- Ken Cottrill
• The server changes it's own screen saver to "Dust Me"! -- Tim Peters
• You can't see the floor through the pile of patch cords, printouts, and parts. -- Roger Bigney
• Your college intern mistakenly thinks he is in his dorm room.-- Greg Haverdink
• Your Google box starts playing a new song - the Barney "Clean-up" song. -- Joe Jackson
• You realize that Bob, the guy who took last month's tapes to off-site storage and then quit, didn't actually quit when he finally digs himself out of the pile of tapes that caved in on him. Luckily, he survived by scraping the cheese off of 6 month's worth of old pizza boxes! -- Joe Jackson
• Most of the "bugs" go away as soon as the case is removed. -- Daniel E. Stafne
• The new kid wants to know which one of the coax cables he can use to get HBO. -- Terry Bainter
• That's a server room? I thought it was a storage closet. -- Eric Williams
• You found the IBM AS/400 repair tech that you THOUGHT never showed up - and the 400 hasn't been turned on in over 4 years. -- Carol Hammond
• The server room housekeeper gets hazardous duty pay. -- Nick Nielsen
• Your UPS is powered by the pull chain light bulb switch - in the storage room next door. -- Rick Nichols
• There is a coffee cup sitting on the router rack with a bio hazard placard on it. -- Rick Nichols
• Your boss is still sending you email from his AOL 6 account. -- Rick Nichols
• You discover the system works better when you dump coffee into the Exchange server. -- Rick Nichols
• Your daily reminder tells you to check for Y2K computability. -- Rick Nichols
• That spare twenty foot of CAT 5 cable keeps winding it's self around you - and SQUEEZING! -- Rick Nichols
• The only users manuals you can find start with Welcome to Apple. -- Rick Nichols
• Looking for Backup Tapes reveals your 1975 collection of 8-tracks. -- Rick Nichols
• You mark out the path to your desk with dayglo paint - just in case. -- Rick Nichols
• Local Distribution mail is left in the hall, cause no-one wants to step into "The Jungle". -- Rick Nichols
• You receive a certified letter from the dust bunnies, demanding a discount since they've been stuck at CY1999/2000 IT real estate rates. -- Diane Stapley
• Net Server just arrived in the mail, and the server room has not changed since you finished upgrading to Windows 2000 Server. -- Steve Clark
• The arc between the server cabinets looks like a Jacob's Ladder from old Frankenstein movies. -- Alan Hollaway
• The mice carry away you twinkies while you monitor a server reboot. -- Greg Martin
• You don't need Post-Its anymore... a plain piece of paper sticks to the racks just fine thanks to all that spilled coffee, cola, etc. -- Dave Baldwin
• The temperature in your server box is the same as your boss's forehead: 212F -- Wilbur McGillicuddy
• You find that one of the servers was designed by Charles Babbage. -- Bradley Ross

Why are people so paranoid of standards bodies? I suppose it stems from the detailed language that is necessary to the implementation of standards that actually work. Anyone involved in standards work gets wrapped up in techo-speak. As a result, it is really hard to reduce today's standards efforts to "25 words or less."

The notion of a "less-than" 802.11g may cause many readers to wonder what 802.11g is worth if it is throttled down to 802.11b speeds for backward compatibility. Under what conditions is it throttled back should be the question asked, but this rarely happens. Instead, users tend to say: "I already invested money in this stuff and now what for? A bit better range?" Oh, give me a break!

Follow the advice of Dave Ross (www.daveross.com) and read the news slowly. What throttling data rates really means is that 802.11g CAN go faster, but vendors are stopping it from doing so to preserve backward compatibility. So, if there is nothing to be backward compatible with, there is no throttle.

802.11g APs (access points) are designed to support both 802.11g and 802.11b remote devices (stations, in standards speak). When a station connects to an 802.11g AP, it identifies itself either as an 11b or an 11g device and identifies the maximum speed it is configured to provide. As long as only 11g stations are connected to the AP, the stations will communicate as fast as the environment allows (based on signal strength and other environmental factors). Once "one" 11b station connects to the AP, however, the AP throttles all 11g stations back to let the 11b station play.

When the 11b station disconnects from the AP, the AP will remove the throttle. Unfortunately, stations rarely disconnect. They just go away, and the AP has to figure out that the station is really gone.

What does this mean to corporate and home users? Don't run old 11b gear on your 11g wireless network. What does it mean to wireless ISPs? 11g provides better coverage, not faster speed.

The challenge with standards is taking the time to understand the whole package. Otherwise, looking at one feature can easily lead you into a blind alley.

-- Robert G. Moskowitz

• NWC Radio: IT Minute: find out why the winner won and who should do better next year.
• Reality Check: Security Policy Management: uncover the necessary architectures and processes.

• Top 11 List: the top excuses for doing a Case Mod on your corporate mail server
• Reality Check: What Can Web Services Do for You?
• Compare IT: Network Management

It seems everything electronic these days is vulnerable to exploitation. And even though I'm on vacation, such vulnerabilities can't be ignored.

Thanks to Tim Heagarty CISSP, MCSE for pointing out that our new Axis Network Camera was vulnerable in a nasty way. Seems that you could get around the HTTP Basic authentication and do things like change the administrative password on us. But thanks to Tim, I patched the Axis last night and all seems well.

A new firmware upgrade was called for, and I have to say that Axis makes this a simple process. Simply ftp the new firmware to the device and, if you give it the right name, it automatically upgrades itself. Sweet.

Well, reinstalling fixed my authentication problem with the CRM app. I was able to turn IIS authentication back on and viola! Instant sign-on. Phew!

There is a key in the registry that appears to turn this on and off, but fiddling with it didn't appear to affect the application, which seems odd. Of course, I didn't reboot in between so you never know.

Back to coding now - have to get some more Web services running for a coming-quicker-than-you-think review.

We've published the final installment of our May 15th issue today, featuring a review of iSCSI Adapters by Steven J. Schuchart Jr. and a workshop on wireless authentication by Dilip Advani. Plus, we've posted the following tidbits.

• Buyer's Guide: Linux Distributions
• Compare IT: VoIP Gateways
• Reality Check: Security Policy Management by Mike Fratto
• Top 11 List: Signs times are tough in your IT department
• TechQuiz: Backup and Recovery

is a bad thing.

For the second time in a one week period I have been reminded that Java does not like blank passwords passed via the command line. Two EAI products have now choked on this and I have been forced to give the user a password.

Yes yes, I know we should have had a password on the account in the first place, but it's a lab and we didn't. Now we do. Because Java can't handle blank ones.

I also accidently locked myself out of our CRM application. I told it to use IIS authentication and WHAM! I can't get into it. At all. I perused the database to try and find the setting and change it back, but it doesn't appear to be there. Next week it's time to look in the registry - wheeeeee!

One thing though -- who the heck is this Chad guy? Wasn't he in "Charlie's Angels" or something?

• Now the kids will know how to spell Potatoe -- Gary Susott
• "Clearly he identifies with second-place." -- Harry Flynn
• Upgrade Apple's image with a 'Wild and Crazy Guy' -- James D. Avery
• Apple does not export to Chad. -- Mark Jass
• Tipper wanted to get him out of the house -- Beth McHenry
• No chads to worry about -- Alex Schrimsher
• Now we we'll know who really invented the Macintosh -- Kamal Mehta
• Apple COMPUTER? Dang! I thought this was a mass-transit outfit somewhere close to Hillary. -- Cliff Smithson
• Jobs lost the coin toss -- Greg Bromwell
• He has a great idea for a computer, an all-in-one model w/monitor in a bunch of crazy colors -- Bob Keys
• He is used to working for a better firm while still losing out in the end. -- Benjamin Eades
• Apples are found in the environment, right?! -- Gail Neuman
• They never had any Granny-Smith ones at the White House when he was there. -- Mark E. Moseley
• Competition is tough at that level and he felt safe spelling Apple. -- Richard Kovach
• Five words: Jobs lost the coin toss! -- Greg Bromwell
• Hopes to use Apple technology to make sure the correct voters are all properly registerd to vote in upcoming "re-elect Gore Lieberman in 2004" campaign, and solve the dangling chad problem. -- Herb Hamilton
• Apples, chads --- they both hang don't they? -- Chuck Simonds
• Oh gee; potatoe pohtahtoh who knew but me this was the highway of the future....I just guessed because a techie colledge friend said soo... i'm famoause for something....[bad, illiterate spelling on purpose] -- Benjamin Kausch
• If I invented the internet, I better learn something about comuters...(Al Gore statement) -- Ernest LeDoux
• Obviously, he saw the need to lessen the tension the country is under with the wars the Republicans are starting so he's going where he's needed most: creating the wonderous Apple on a stick (an amusing reality no one can dispute); which should enhance their sales tremendously; especially with his technological vision and prowess he so clearly demonstrated with his single handed creation of the Internet. He's the future, he's the past, he's one futuristic, Imperial Spock beard wearing, bad ass! (Leonard Nimoy never looked so Presidential) Once you go Gore, you'll be left only wanting more! Apple/Gore, the other white meat! -- John Castelein
• He wants to help the way the industry currently harvests 'hanging chads'. -- Fred Ensminger
• He's always been a fruity kind of guy. -- Fred Ensminger
• Al Gore thought it was a "Rite of Passage" to be on the The Board since he probably founded the Apple Newton at the same time he invented the Internet. -- Jeffrey G. Anders
• With Al Gore a proxy vote adds a new dimension -- Jerry Howard
• Steve Jobs hires better looking interns than his last boss!! -- Ken Savage
• "All my favorite flavors!" -- Gord Belsey
• He wanted to get a free IMac! -- Fred Wood
• His goofy beard won't look so out of place with all the programmer-types hanging out in Apple headquarters. -- Dennis Moore
• Nobody will pay $150,000 to hear one of his speeches. -- Dennis Moore
• "You know you win some, you lose some, and then there's that little-known third category." ķAl Gore, summing up the 2000 election during a speech in Florida -- Tim Hertz
• He believes he will be working for 'Bill' again, but doesn't realize it is the wrong company. -- Greg Jones
• Tipper wanted to get him out of the house. -- Beth McHenry

Whichever the case, we've got ourselves a winner for our 2003 WCA challenge -- Thomas Hassell of Las Cruces, NM!

Congratulations, Thomas. That Creative Labs Nomad Jukebox C is being boxed up and shipped to you as we speak (well, as I type)!

Let's do this again, next year!

• New Top 11 List: signs your summer intern is insane
• TechQuiz: Management Protocols and Practices
• Reality Check: Next Generation Backbone Infrastructure (requires Real Player)
• Feature: Hotspot service provider RFI
• Feature: NetWorld+Interop Best of Show Awards

No, I'm not talking about the Octopus, Oyster, Prawn and Scallop stew I had at the Circo Restaurant at N+I. I deployed the CustomerLookup web service before I left for Interop, but it was an older version and it turns out that it wasn't working for the last couple weeks. I've now redeployed and all is well again. Version control is something that was always a pain, but definitely worth it when things like that happen.

Yes, you guessed it. Our exchange server puked while Steve and I were in Las Vegas for Networld+Interop so you know what I did all morning.

Fix exchange. It was evident that I needed to move the MTADATA directory to another - much larger - drive. So I googled the issue and found the following KB Article at Microsoft: XCON: How to Change the Location of the MTA Database and Run Directory. Fair warning, it does involve registry editing but the good news is that it's only 2 entries and it's fairly painless.

The pain begins later. I scrupulously followed the instructions and then tried to mount the primary message store. Nope. Not gonna happen. Apparently I needed even MORE disk space. So I moved the log files ( MDBDATA ) to the bigger drive and then crossed my fingers. Wham! Message stores mounted and Exchange appears to be happily running without complaint. We'll see if this fixes the problem in, oh, about 2 days.

I also spent time installing W2K and SQL Server 2000 on one of our Dell 2650 servers in preparation to install the winner of our CRM review. Yes, I know who it is, but I'm not telling. Yet.

* TechQuiz: Showcase your SNMP savvy -- You could win a shiny Olympus Stylus 300 digicam, compliments of ScriptLogic
* Compare IT: Conferencing Platforms
* Sneak Preview: AirDefense's Guard 3.0 By Saurabh Bhasin
* Career Coach

As always, you can grab the entire contents of the new issue from our RSS feed, or you can browse for stories here.

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