THE 1996 WELL-CONNECTED AWARDS
THE REVIEWER
(to the tune of "The Boxer")
We are just reviewers,
And the vendors, without fail,
Try to tear down our resistance,
With an avalanche of vapor,
Such are promises.
All lies and jest,
Still we only hear what we need to hear,
And we decide who's best.
When we started building networks,
Bill Gates had yet to shave,
In the company of 3Com,
With the hope of beating Noorda's Netware, running scared.
Laying low, saying Novell's networks are where the ragged people go,
Announcing fancy products they can't show.
Lie, lie, lie.
Gosh they vendors, how they lie.
See them cry,
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Asking always for the products and only looking for the facts,
It gets real tough to do,
With come-ons from the vendors about their revenue.
We do declare: There are times we beg for products and they send us
shirts to wear.
Reviewers now are in full gear,
We're testing rigorously,
We get up early in the morning, and we go 'till late each night,
For us, the usual.
It's not so strange, all these products never work and merely drive us
all insane.
These products never work, it's so inane.
Lie, lie, lie.
Cut through the hype, please try.
How they cry,
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
We've traveled to Las Vegas, for giving out our grand awards,
Ohhhhhhh.
For well-connected products that are proven.
And not risky,
Place your bet.
In the clea
ring, stands
the vendors, all are fighters by their trade,
And they carry the reminders of the shipping dates, which they often
miss.
Which cut them, and they cry out, in anger and in shame: We are leaving,
we are leaving, but we'll be back just the same.
Lie, lie, lie
Tell us more, see what flies, we know you try.
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Tell us lies,
It keeps us occupied.
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Tell us more, see what flies, God knows you try.
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Look at you, staring at us, in the eye.
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
Lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
March
29, 1996
|
|
REPORTS
ANALYTICS
Follow 
