Network Computingwww.networkcomputing.com

10) Has recurring nightmares about penguins morphing into VB programmers

9) Retires the penguin logo in favor of a flying cappuccino maker

8) Announces next OS will be something called "DOS"

7) Refers to his family members as "threads" and household chores as "procs"

6) Optimizes the kernel for Commodore 64 and MatchBox Server platforms

5) Suggests integrating Mozilla into the kernel

4) Accidentally slips Longhorn source code into the kernel

3) Bruises forehead crushing Jolt cans

2) Completes kernel rewrite in COBOL as a summer project

1) Begins to look a lot like Paul Allen

Thanks to Joe Dial, Joe Drobnick, Dean Faber, Ray Gauthier, Jason Hicks, Andrew Maguire, Woody Medina, Kenn Morris, Julie Nusom, Dave Perkowski and Hector Ramirez for their submissions. See the complete list of Top 11 submissions.

click to enlarge

We'll start it off: This is what happens when someone forgets to bring the wireless access point to the summer editors' retreat.

"Bytes, bits, KiBs, and MiBs" or "Why can we not use right words for right terms?"

As everyone knows, when we need to say "1,024 bytes" we say "1 kilobyte"; when we need to say "1,024 bits" we say "1 kilobit"; when we need to say "1,024 kilobytes" we say "1 megabyte"; and when we need to say "1,024 kilobits" we say "1 megabit."

Wouldn't it be simpler to say letter names instead of "keebee" and "meebee"? Letter K is pronounced "kay," letter M is pronounced "em," letter G is pronounced "gee" (for "giga" prefix) and letter T is pronounced "tee" (for "tera" prefix), etc.

Thus, for example:

1024 bytes--1 Kbyte ("kay-byte")

1024 bits--1 Kbit ("kay-bit")

1024 Kbytes--1 Mbyte ("em-byte")

1024 Kbits--1 Mbit ("em-bit")

1024 Mbytes--1 Gbyte ("gee-byte")

1024 Mbits--1 Gbit ("gee-bit")

1024 Gbytes--1 Tbyte ("tee-byte")

1024 Gbits--1 Tbit ("tee-bit")

For the complete text of this important treatise, visit our special research center (well, Web page) dedicated to Tee-Hee-Bytes.