Top 11 Reasons to let AOL filter your e-mail for spam
11. Blocks out e-mail jokes from your mother-in-law
10. No more annoying messages from long-lost high-school sweethearts
9. Frees up time to convert that pile of AOL CDs into coasters
8. Limits junk mail to "AOL-approved" solicitations
7. Discards all those wordy messages from friends and relatives so you can concentrate on getting the best mortgage rates and Viagra prices
6. No more pesky messages asking you to "upgrade" to MSN 8.0
5. Mom has better things to do than sort through e-mail ads, like sorting through your laundry
4. Makes it easier for John Ashcroft to checkfor terrorist messages
3. May prevent you from being charged as a pornographer if someone checks your hard drive
2. AOL is the best spammer around, so it should know how to filter spam
1. You've already enlarged every part of your body that needs enlarging
Thanks to Gary Gingras, Glyn Thomas Gowing, Miles Gulling, Erik Hoogerhuis, David G. Miller, Rick Nichols and David Norlander for their submissions.
What has your Brand Consultant Been Smoking?
In honor of our 2003 Well-Connected Awards, we're pleased to bring you the worst product and vendor renamings in recent memory.
• Chimera is now Camino: Proving that you can, indeed, improve upon a fire-breathing, lion-goat-dragon beast
• Windows .Net Server is now Windows Server 2003: Yeah, that clears up what .Net is
• Cabletron is now Enterasys/Aprisma: This is how branding consultants clarify what a company does
• VPN Appliance is now FortiGate: Buying this product won't require going to confession afterward
• KPMG is now BearingPoint: So it sounds like a defunct dotcom. It's better than a beaten-up accounting firm
• SystemWalker is now Systemwalker: Thanks for saving us the extra keystroke
• MySQL is now MySQL Classic, MySQL Pro, MySQL Max: MyWord
• Bell System spun off AT&T, which spun off Lucent, which spun off Avaya: What's next, the "Bell spin-off formerly known as Avaya"?
Thanks to Brian Hathaway, Andrew Lerner and Bob Pate for their submissions.
Vax Bar
• Why eke out a few measly bucks on eBay or waste a weekend shooting up your old mainframe when you can turn it into something useful that will both delight your friends and showcase the true power of the "glass house" (see graphic).
• Speaking of silicon-powered libation creations, who could forget our very own venture into bar-land back in 1995, when then Network Computing editor Jeff Newman converted an aging VAX into a frosty beer dispenser ... on tap!
Find more Last Mile items and submit your entries for upcoming issues at www.nwc.com/go/lmile.html.
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