10. Bill is looking for his long-lost brother, Clem

9. To find the guy who keeps hacking its Web servers

8. To see if anyone can explain Windows error code FFFFF000234

7. It's cheaper than paying people to scrawl "VB rules" on sidewalks

6. The free stuff--nobody gets rich paying for software

5. The bagels and donuts are fabulous

4. To taunt employees at the Red Hat booth: "Hah, betcha can't play Unreal Tournament 2003 on that Linux thing!"

3. Rejected from exterminator trade show because of Windows bug infestation

2. Still harbors guilty feelings about killing Mosaic

1. "Linus will be there? I've always been a Charlie Brown fan!"

Stop by our site for the complete, uncensored list of reasons.

Thanks to Luke Conklin, Loc Dao, Marvin Duran, George Goldyn, Kevin Jackson, Mark Jass, Eric R. Kern, Ron Marshall and Michael McComber for their submissions.



Mistaken Indemnity

These are strange days indeed when Apple Hot News' section editor starts believing the rumors. Apple.com's news site picked up this wild story from a Web site called Crazy Apple Rumors:

Bush Demands Recount In Gore's Board Election

In the wake of Apple's announcement late yesterday that former Vice President Al Gore was elected to the company's board of directors, President George Bush announced this morning that he would demand a recount. ... The Bush administration indicated that if a recount was not successful, it would take the matter to the Supreme Court. "I am sure that when the votes are tallied again," Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer said, "Apple will find that President Bush was, in fact, named to the board, not Mr. Gore."

We're sure too, Ari. It's Apple's news editor we're not so sure about.



Crystal-Ball Clear

Looking for an easy way to stay informed or at least appear that way? With Googlism.com, you can find out what people are saying about your favorite celebrity, politician or technology in pages ranked by Google. Let's see what the fortune-tellers say about open- and closed-source software:

Closed source is:

  To a certain extent accidental

  All the rage these days, you know

  Probably the correct term

  Unnatural

  Less "stealth" and more "electronic warfare"

Open source is:

  On the air

  Hot on HP's coolbase

  A little different

  One of two fundamentally different approaches for developing molecular nanotechnology

  An intellectual



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