Network Computingwww.networkcomputing.com

10. With no bugs, legal troubles and vaporware to write about, the tech press would be reduced to a single, one-page monthly newsletter

9. BSOD would be BBSOD (Big Blue Screen of Death)

8. An army of IBM Certified Config.sys Engineers (ICCE) would have emerged

7. Networks would run SNA instead of IP

6. XP-OS/2 emulation would have hit the market, promising a "Better OS/2 than OS/2"

5. Paul Allen would own the minor-league Redmond Reboots

4. Software alpha testing would happen at IBM instead of on your desktop

3. You wouldn't have to answer your kids' questions about why there isn't a Windows 96 or 99

2. You wouldn't need a Pentium 4 with 256 MB of RAM to play Solitaire

1. You would no longer be "the only moron" at your company who has not seen the light

We invite you to visit our extended, 32-bit version of the OS/2 list.

Thanks to Allan Alton, Marvin Duran, Matthew Ellsworth, Bob Jones, Douglas Lancaster, Harry Levinson, Mike Moody, Michael Paschal, Roger Philipps, Scott Reimers and JJ Seely for their submissions.

• All My Warez
• Hacking 101, 202, 303, 404, 505
• Hacking for Dummies
• Unix: The Big Kahuna
• CIA Book of Dirty Tricks
• Handy Hacker's Viruses

• How not to get taken in a potential PayPal scam by an eBay seller with zero sales.

Presenting the Mr. Osterizing Hummus Home Energy Converter (OHHEC for short). Relying upon the readily available delicacy hummus, the blue laser-powered OHHEC can power any laptop via its six interface options--chop, liquify, emulsify, whip, crush and puree. Sure, it generates nearly 1.21 gigawatts of power, but with its automatic radar-gun-throttling technology and built-in satellite uplink, you can easily store extra kilowatts off-site. Plus, it makes a mean frozen mango martini.