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October 10, 2002
By Brad Shimmin and David Joachim

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Top 11 Product Names to Replace Jaguar, Apple's Latest OS

11. Faster Pussycat

10.Toy Story III

9. Saber-Tooth (as in, extinct tiger)

8. Edsel

7. Plan 9 from OS X

6. Soderbergh's Folly

5. Newton Redux

4. Goodbye 9, Hello Kitty ^_^

3. JobsUX

2. Happy Mac R.I.P.

1. Mac OS Y

Thanks to Matthew duhan, bruce edwardes, darryl howard, dan kwitchen, randal neuleib, william reveal and ken roundtree for their submissions

IT To-Don't List

1. Don't install AOL on an existing e-mail system. You never know where your DLLs will end up.

2. Don't remark about how big an idiot the caller was--until you're sure you've hung up correctly.

3. Don't believe the user who says he or she didn't change a thing.

Thanks to Gregg Nicholas and Susan Mollohan for their submissions

I Love It When You Talk Tech

Ordinary people receive error messages in plain language.

Not us:

To: Bruce Boardman



Your message


Subject: ////


was not delivered to: ////


because:

Router: Unable to open mailbox file PNICGBOD1/PORTERNOVELLI mail.box: The TCP/IP protocol stack reported that it ran out of memory. Consult your network documentation to increase configured memory, or reduce Notes connections by limiting clients.

Geek Check

Upon overhearing the words "El Camino" while dining in a Mexican restaurant, you immediately think of:

1. Your beloved Chevrolet

2. The arduous journey of Santiago

3. Stanford University

4. Calling the health department

Answer: Stanford University.

Why? From the Hacker's Dictionary: "When a hacker from MIT visited Stanford in 1976, he remarked what a long road El Camino Real was. Making a pun on 'real,' he started calling it 'El Camino Double Precision'--but when the hacker was told that the road was hundreds of miles long, he renamed it 'El Camino Bignum,' and that name has stuck."

Submit your Last Mile Entries.