2. Don't remark about how big an idiot the caller was--until you're sure you've hung up correctly.

3. Don't believe the user who says he or she didn't change a thing.

Thanks to Gregg Nicholas and Susan Mollohan for their submissions

I Love It When You Talk Tech

Ordinary people receive error messages in plain language.

Not us:

To: Bruce Boardman

Router: Unable to open mailbox file PNICGBOD1/PORTERNOVELLI mail.box: The TCP/IP protocol stack reported that it ran out of memory. Consult your network documentation to increase configured memory, or reduce Notes connections by limiting clients.

Geek Check

Upon overhearing the words "El Camino" while dining in a Mexican restaurant, you immediately think of:

1. Your beloved Chevrolet

2. The arduous journey of Santiago

3. Stanford University

4. Calling the health department

Answer: Stanford University.

Why? From the Hacker's Dictionary: "When a hacker from MIT visited Stanford in 1976, he remarked what a long road El Camino Real was. Making a pun on 'real,' he started calling it 'El Camino Double Precision'--but when the hacker was told that the road was hundreds of miles long, he renamed it 'El Camino Bignum,' and that name has stuck."

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