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September 30, 2002

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Top 11 Rejected Slogans for Palladium, Microsofts's Grand Security Initiative

11. We just want to get to know you better.
10. Less network traffic means faster Internet.
9. From the people who brought you Xenix, Multiplan and Bob.
8. Exposing you to the world in a bold, new way.
7. Security: No longer just for big iron.
6. Now endorsed by Bill Gates.
5. Not just for chemists anymore.
4. Secure data collection and distribution.
3. We already have your info, just give us the password to make things official.
2. Where do we want you to go today?
1. This time you can trust us. No, seriously. C'mon, stop laughing.
Thanks to John J. Brassil, Mark Breunig, Mark Dydzuhn, David Gillett, Mitch Gould, Bradley Gruber, Douglas Hacker, Jason Harrer, Robert D. Hughes, Henry Newberry for their submissions.

You Know Your Boss Doesn't Get Technology When...

A) He peers over the cubie wall and asks sheepishly, "So how do I exit Windows... press Control-Alt-Delete?"

B) He suggests helpfully, "Wouldn't it cut down on spam if you just blocked Port 25?"

C) You say you're installing Linux on some office servers and he asks, "Does that run on Windows 2000 Server?"

Thanks to Brock Campbell for his submission.

SPAM CAM

Our spam award goes to one Alexander Tolstoy, for heading off objections to hiring his Siberian development shop:

"We develop software solutions that may help to increase efficiency of your business without heavy investitions. ... You may think that Russia is only vodka and mafia but in fact everything is very different."

Alexander, you had us at "investitions."

ALL The News Not Fit to Print

"OAKLAND, CALIF., August 19, 2002. Versata Inc. (nasdaq: VATA), a provider of software and services that automate the business logic and processes that power enterprise applications, today announced that it has received notification from the nasdaq listing qualifications panel that the company is in full compliance with the requirements necessary for continued listing on the nasdaq national market. in accordance with the decision, the company will remain listed on nasdaq national market and the hearing file has been closed."

From the Versata marketing machine

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